


Reflection

by SirenDreams



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Book VI: The Lovers (The Arcana), Book VII: The Chariot (The Arcana), Drabble, F/M, Heartbreak, essentially the beginning of Julian's route, just named my apprentice siren because i like the name, looks like self-insert but not really, mostly angst, spoilers for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 09:38:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17826317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirenDreams/pseuds/SirenDreams
Summary: The Apprentice recounts meeting the Doctor⏤ he who shattered any expectations she may have had⏤ and the events that  transpired and is left wondering why her heart feels broken.[Or; An elaboration on the discussion between The Apprentice and Asra post-dock visit with Julian.] [Slight spoilers for: the beginning of Julian's route, book VI (the lovers) and book VII (the chariot) respectively.]{Mention of: Julian Devorak/(Siren) Female Apprentice}





	Reflection

**Author's Note:**

> My first foray into writing fic for The Arcana! I downloaded the game on a whim and wow, I did not expect to fall so hard for it's world. Suffice to say, I'm enjoying the hell out of it and don't think I'll be leaving the fandom ~~ever~~ anytime soon.

"Goodbye, Siren."

She opens her mouth to beg him not to leave. Not like this, not with so much still left unsaid. To say something, **anything** to make the moment last. And yet, words fail her. Leaving her to watch as he disappears down the alley, her final glimpse of his cape swirling around a corner and vanishing into the darkness marred by blurring tears.

As she stands in the still of the night, she can feel her heart thump painfully in her chest. A sharp, throbbing pain... not unlike something broken. 

"How odd." She murmurs aloud, softly, her voice cracking on the syllables as she unlocks the shop door and steps inside.

The air in the shop is warm and full of comforting aroma and sound: spices, the smell of food cooking, and Asra humming quietly in the distance.

"Siren, you're home at⏤" Asra stops short at her approach, the expression on her face all he needs. "Did something happen at the palace? Are you hurt?" Worry lines cross his graceful features as he leaves the food to simmer and guides her to a nearby table.

"Nothing happened at the palace. It's... Asra, I⏤" Her voice falters as he places a warm hand over her own and gives a gentle squeeze.

"It's okay, take your time."

Silence falls for a time, interrupted only by the mixture- dinner- bubbling on the stove. As Asra begins to stand to check on the food once more, Siren finally breaks her silence.

"It's Julian. He... left."

Asra blinks in surprise, lavender eyes wide in brief shock.

"The city?" He questions, gently.

"Me."

"Oh," the sorrow in her tone stops him and he settles back into the chair. "Oh, Siren. I didn't realize you two were involved."

And so, dinner long forgotten, she recounts the days prior to Asra.

The first meeting at shop, long before she knew who he truly was. When he was just a stranger looking for her master. Nadia's test of skill and running into him in the alley; how he whisked her into the bar and helped her decipher a clue. The way his directions once the guards arrived somehow led her out of danger and straight to her target. Meeting him again when wandering the palace grounds, the tumble into the water and the way he healed her. Taking her wound as his own. The constant, casual flirtation. And later, once again whisking her to safety. 

Hiding away with her in a small hut, unable to keep his eyes off her. The way his face flushed crimson at a teasing remark: _(Will you survive that long without her?)_. The way, when she finally retired for the night, his arm curved around her in a gentle embrace. (She feels herself blush a she recounts this, tactfully leaving out that she had practically been sleeping on top of him due to the limited space). How when she awoke the next morning, it seemed as if he had been waiting for her eagerly... Yet also with a sense of trepidation.

The way the day had dragged on even as he insisted they needed to talk, almost as if he didn't want it end. First, the market and it's ensuing mishap. How he always prioritized her safety first, even over something small: _(Asra, he shielded me from fruit. From a literal fruit stand, like somehow it would've obliterated me.)_. Their foray into the bar, turned theater and the impromptu performance. How she tried to stop it, but Julian had plunged on before she had the chance. How it had dampened his cheerful attitude, and understandably so. 

Finally, their trip to the dock and the descending darkness. How he had recounted his failures and insisted that he was no good for her, that he hurt everyone and everything. That he couldn't risk her becoming another casualty in his life. The conflict between his face and tone. The way his words and tone said, 'I'm no good for you' and tried to push her away even as his eyes looked hopeful.

"What did you do?"

"I said I'd just leave. I didn't **want** to, not really. But I didn't feel like I had any other option. Nothing I said would've made a difference."

"Did he seem relieved?" Asra's eyes darken as he says it, already sensing what she's about to say.

"That's the thing... He kept going on like I'd tried to argue with him and then, when he realized I'd said I'd just go, he looked so hurt. Even though he told me that's what he wanted. He walked me home and told me goodbye... that it was better we didn't see each other again."

As she falls silent again, the outpouring of her emotions taking so much from her, Asra weighs his options. He knows Julian's patterns, the way he pushes people away even though he really wants them close. Telling her so could help her... but it could also hurt her more. He weight hurt against tact and decides he'll tell her, but later. When the sorrow isn't as fresh.

"So... it's seems the two of you weren't really together."

"I... I suppose not."

"Siren," He begins, mindful of his mistake as her expression falls ever further into sorrow.

"But... if we weren't really together, then why does it hurt so much?"

As Asra offers what comfort he can, he wonders if Julian feels as heartbroken as she does.


End file.
